Firstly, a big big thank you to Lea for taking the time to transcribe the 100 Monkeys interview with Nardwuar. Bear with us here and we shall have it translated into Spanish, French and German shortly!
Nardwuar: Who are you?
Jackson: Uh…We are 100monkeys.
N: Actually, Jackson, I should probably say: Can you do Disney 411 intro of your bandmates?
(generally “Oh no you di’int!” sounds coming from the rest of the band off-camera)
J: (in excited, high pitched voice) Hi, this is Jackson, and we’re here with 100monkeys! We got..We got Jerad Anderson, and Ben Graupner, and…and…Uncle Larry…and we have Ben Johnson here! Oh my God, we’re with Nardwuar! Wow!
—
N: You guys are the 100monkeys in Vancouver, British Columbia
*points mic at Jackson*
J: …100 monkeys!
N:…Canada! And you love, your band – you love Daniel Johnston don’t you…
J: Yeah, we love Daniel Johnston, he’s a huge influence. And actually, I got to see a Daniel Johnston show, like uh…he performed here a couple of nights ago, so I got to go see that, it was amazing, man..watching him perform live..like, that man puts his heart on his sleeve.
N: What can you tell the people about Daniel Johnston? *points mic at Ben J*
Ben J: What’s that?
N: What can you tell the people about Daniel Johnston?
Ben J: Oh, he’s just an incredible songwriter. He’s probably one of the best songwriters alive today, I think.
Ben G: He’s an artist as well, his graphics, his visual art that he draws is just absolutely amazing
N: And Daniel Johnston has a message for you!
J: *looks shocked* He does?!
N: Yes. *gestures to laptop* Crowd around here, 100monkeys, we have a message right here for 100monkeys…by…Daniel Johnston..here it comes right now, this is Daniel Johnston’s message to 100monkeys.
Daniel Johnston: Hi, this is Daniel Johnston for the 100monkeys…Could you please do one of my songs-
*Jackson gasps*
Daniel Johnston(cont)-I’d really appreciate it, I hope you have a hit, and we’ll all be rich. Thank you.
Jackson: Oh..I…YES. Just got a blessing from Daniel Johnston to do one of his songs…
—
N: Daniel Johnston!
J: That was…one of the most amazing messages I think 100monkeys has ever received, uh…thank you do much Daniel, we’d love to do one of your songs-
Ben G: Walking the Cow, Walking the Cow.
Jerad: We’re going to work on it today.
N: And you can both get rich on it!
J: Oh, we’d love it, we’d love it…Especially Daniel.
Jerad: Because it’s definitely not about the music.
*nervous giggles*
Jerad: *laughs* I’m just kidding.
—-
N: 100monkeys, you played the Rio Theatre. *holds mic out to Jerad*
Jerad: …That is correct.
N: …And you guys cause RPattz to piss in a cup! *holds mic out to Jackson*
J: ……..
N: Yes! Robert Pattinson, pissed in a cup! *holds mic out to Ben G*
Ben G: Wh….Which?!
N: The Beatlemania that was happening when the 100monkeys were playing the Rio Theatre – it was a pretty crazy show, wasn’t it – *holds mic out to Ben J*
Ben J: It was a pretty crazy show.
N: In Vancouver, and it caused Robert Pattinson, who is backstage checking you guys out-
Ben G: I thought, I thought that was some kind of expression, like, for the police coming, like “RPattz pissed in a cup” was “The cops got upset.”
N: No!
Ben G: In a cup, ‘cos there was so many people there?
N: The gig was going great, it was a great gig, wasn’t it. *holds mic out to Jerad*
Jerad: It was, and you sold it on ebay, because I bought it.
N: You did buy it!
Jerad: I did.
N: I thought he left a gift for you!
Jerad: No – YOU sold it to ME-
N: I didn’t sell anything!
*Jerad looks confused*
N: But I just thought it was incredible Jackson, to have such an incredible Beatlemaniac following that poor RPattz has to piss in a cup-why does he have to piss in a cup? *holds mic out to Jackson*
J: …..sometimes pissing in a bottle is difficult…
N: The reason he had to piss in a cup was becuause he couldn’t go to the washroom, the washrooms were completely packed with the crowds! *holds mic out to Jackson*
Jackson:…heh…
N: And the crowds wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for the…*holds mic out to Ben G*
Ben G:..100 monkeys…
N: Yes! So, indirectly, the 100monkeys caused RPattz to piss into a….*holds mic out to Jackson*
Ben: …Cup! Yes!!
J: I feel like we’re winning a contest right now…
—-
N: Jackson, you’re also into the band Islands, aren’t you?
J: Yeah! I love the Islands! And they were, uh…first The Unicorns
N: And they’re known for the song you love…*holds mic out to Jackson*
J: Which one? There’s so many, like Don’t Call Me Whitney Bobby, uh..Rough Gem, uh…Evil Creeper, that’s a great song..I Was Born a Unicorn is still my favourite song…’I was born a unicorn, a unicorn…”
N: And Jackson, Nick from the Unicorns has a message for you! Right here!
—
N: Here’s a message from Nick of Islands, to 100monkeys.
J: Excellent.
–
Nick from Islands: Hey 100monkeys, it’s Nick from Islands, Nardwuar asked me to send you a video saying what’s up, uh…um…he mentioned you guys were fans of Corey Haim, vampires, Don’t Call Me Whitney Bobby, the Islands song…um…Nardwar likes trivia, so…I figured I’d unload a little bit of trivia about those things, so – Don’t Call Me Whitney Bobby is a reference to Sly Stone, a Sly Stone song, and to Whitney Huston and Bobby Brown, obviously…and, um…I made a movie with Corey Haim when I was in film school in Canada, by crank-calling his uncle and convincing him to act in the film. Which, uh…did not go very well. Mostly because he was…I don’t know how to say this without sounding libelous…it didn’t work. But he was fairly terrible about it, and I was too, I was young, and if you see him maybe you should ask him if he remembers me…probably not. Anyway, enjoy Vancouver, and say what’s up to Nardwuar for me.
—
Jerad: S’up Nardwuar?
Jackson: What’s up, Nardwuar?
N: Nick from Islands! Daniel Johnston! Welcoming the 100monkeys to Vancouver!
Jerad: I love you!
N: We love the 100monkeys! Thank you for helping generate all these amazing connections to your band – Islands! Daniel Johnston!
Jackson: That’s amazing, thank you much, I mean…hey, uh, we just came into town to record some music, mix an album, play some shows, we never imagined that we would get such illustrious performers such as Daniel Johnston, and Nick from the Islands, that’s amazing.
—-
N: I have a list for you, 100monkeys. At number 5, we have Chris Martin. *holds mic out to Jerad*
J: …
N: At number 4, we have Tori Amos. *holds mic out to Jackson*
J: *nods*
N: At number 3, we have Justin Timberlake. *holds mic out to Uncle Larry*
UL: ..’kay.
N: At number 2, we have Jackson….*holds mic out to Jackson*
Jerad: …Smith.
N: Rathbone.
J: Oh! I thought you were going to say Jackson Brown.
N: And at number 1…*holds mic out to Ben G*
Ben G: …I don’t know…
N: We have Ben…
Ben G: Graupner?
N: Ben Graupner!! *holds mic out to Ben G*
Ben G: …What’s it a list of?
N: You’re number 1! Yay!
Ben G: Yay!
N: Look who you beat out – Chris Martin, Tori Amos, Justin Timberlake, Jackson huurrrrRathbone, in Top 10 Hands as written by Willow Raine.
Ben G: …..
Jerad: Lemme see your hands
N: Top 10 Hands! Can we do a comparison there, Jackson, like the hands? He beat you out! Top 10 Hand!
Ben G: I really have more hand than you….
Jerad: That’s what it is
Ben G: On the size scale…You got the thumb thing…
Jackson: Yeah, I got the thumb thing, that’s weird. That doesn’t give me any cred, the thumb?
Ben G: They gave me, like, a hand award?
N: Willow Raine, gave that to you. You’re number one, on a hand award!
Ben G: Willow Raine, thank you very much.
N: What I think is interesting, you guys have played a few TwiCons, haven’t you?
Jackson: We have, we have.
N: The woman who played the hands of the…*holds mic out to Ben G*
Jerad: book.
N: of the book, was at one of those-
Ben G: Oh!! I met her, she was cool!
N: Her name is Kimbra!
Ben G: Kimbra…I remember meeting her, she was like “I was the hand model for Twilight!” I was like, “That’s so bizarre and weird.” *grins*
N: And did she charge you 20 dollars for a photo?
Ben G: *laughs* No, no…
—-
N: *hands picture frame to Jackson* Here we have your co-star Kristen Stewart, and what punk t-shirt is she wearing?
Jackson:…Minor Threat!
N: Minor Threat, a hardcore band t-shirt! *holds mic out to Ben G*
Ben G: Oh, right! You do your research!
N: What does Kristen taste like, Jackson?
J: That is an inappropriate question, Nardwuar.
N: Her blood! You drink her blood in the movie!
J: I don’t drink her blood in the movie…I try to, but I don’t get it! I miss. Don’t quite make it.
Jerad: Here’s the neck…*mimes biting near a neck* Miss.
Jackson: Near, near miss.
N: Jackson, in the movie do you wear a wig?
Jackson: Uh, in the first one – no, in the second two, yes.
N: And was it because you did some movie in GreenLand?
Jackson: *laughs at pronunciation of Greenland* Yeah, yeah, I did a movie called The Last Airbender with M. Night. Shyamalan, and uh, I had to get this crazy haircut where I shaved up the sides, you know, doing the whole punk thing…I could rock the Casbah now – check it out, I’m The Clash…
N: No, exactly! Who you are is Varg! You are gonna be Varg, and I have a gift for you! *hands large gift to Jackson*
J: Oh man, this is amazing!!
N: What do we have there, can you please explain?
J: This is, this is Burzum anthology, oh my God…
N: You are going to be, for the people that don’t know, Jackson is going to be playing this gentleman-
Jackson: Actually, I gotta break the news, I’m not actually going to be playing this gentleman anymore, the dates ended up falling through, I’ve been pursuing this role for two and a half years, and the dates just didn’t end up lining up…unless the movie gets pushed to next year…
N: It’s the Lords of Chaos movie that they’re hoping to shoot *hands Lords of Chaos book to Jerad* for the movie Lords of Chaos. You were gonna play good old Varg
J: Man, Varg is amazing, I’ve read a lot of interviews with him, and the guy’s just a really smart, smart man, makes great music and, um, I like black metal but I love his music probably the-
N: Well this is a gift from me to you Jackson!
J: Well thank you Nardwuar! *they shake hands*
N: And if you open it up, look, it’s the Anthology! It’s the Burzum anthology with the story!
Jackson: Oh my gosh…
—
N: Well, thanks much 100monkeys, keep rockin’ in the free world, aaand..Do Doodle-Oo-Do…. *holds mic out to Jackson*
Jackson: Do-do!
